Friday, March 27, 2009

Top 5 Ugliest Uniforms in Pro Sports

I watch a lot of sports, but I generally like my sports to be not only competitive and entertaining, but also aesthetically pleasing. Unfortunately, there are some teams out there that make this basically impossible. These are those teams, and my the Lord banish the ugliest uniforms in sports to clothing hell.

5 – Denver Broncos

The color scheme and logo aren’t what I mind here—it’s more the design itself. The swooping piping down the sides of the pants look like carrots, and the number font looks like something Mickey Mouse would wear. There’s no toughness to these uniforms, but there’s plenty of fugliness.

4 – Colorado Rockies

The Rockies’ home whites and away grays aren’t particularly inspired but they’re not horrible either. What breaks this team free of its generic look are the purple alternates that look, well… extremely purple. Put John Kruk in one of these things and you’ll have a hard time distinguishing him from Grimace or Barney the Dinosaur. God, I hate purple. I hate purple in moderation. In excess its bothers me to nausea.

3 – Golden State Warriors

There’s too many damn colors in this scheme, and orange as a primary hue just doesn’t work for me (sorry, U of I fans). But when you add navy, yellow and white, you’re just piling it on. How about navy and yellow? Or navy and orange? What the hell purpose does the yellow even serve in this situation? Horrible, up and down the color wheel.

2 – Minnesota Wild

Merry Christmas everyone! I get that green and red are complementary colors, but they really only work together between late November and December. Any other time of year it just feels… off. And the logo sucks. Even the throwback-style alternates are lame.

1 – Cincinnati Bengals

When I was a senior in high school, I had a pair of tiger-print pants made up for the Winter Ball just because I wanted to look as ridiculous as possible. That’s who I was back then, but I wasn’t trying to market or sell the style, and I certainly wasn’t trying to put off a manly, football-player vibe by wearing the look. Somehow, the Bengals still just don’t get this. And that’s why they’ve got the ugliest uniforms in professional sports.

Honorable Mention – Oklahoma City Thunder, Buffalo Bills

When Oklahoma City got the Seattle Supersonics and changed their image to the whole “Thunder” thing, I thought they’d put some effort into it. Instead, they somehow ended up with the most vanilla bean uniforms in the modern history of the NBA.

As for Buffalo, it just bothers me that they needed to use two shades of blue. The red and royal worked for them for years; why add the navy blue? On the home whites it looks especially silly.

Runaway College Winner – University of Oregon Football

I’m speechless.


AdamH said...

Granted, I can take criticism for not knowing that the Supersonics weren't as such anymore. Actually I had no idea they even left Seattle. But seriously...

Gayest topic ever, Brigs.

Extreme Brigs said...

Your face is gay. So there.