Friday, May 05, 2006

Great Student Quotes

Well, the school year is drawing to a close, and I can honestly say that my second full year of teaching has been as enjoyable as the first one was. All year long, I keep track of funny or stupid things student say, and at the end of the year I post a compilation of the best ones. I hope you guys laugh as hard at these as I did. Some of them still generate some vocal chortles from yours truly. Enjoy!

Billy (a sophomore): “Washington Irving? Isn’t that the guy that invented peanut butter?”

Me, to the class: “Let’s review: adverbs describe…”
Students: “Verbs!”
Me: “Right, and what type of word describes nouns?”
Zach (a senior): “Adnouns?”

Me: “Do you guys know the name of the woman who supposedly constructed the first American flag?”
Billy, without raising his hand: “Ooh! Rosa Parks!”

Me: “I’m going to a BB King concert tonight.”
Jessica (a freshman): “Who’s that?”
Me: “Well, he’s arguably the greatest blues musician of all time.”
Jessica: “Ew. Isn’t that like, old man music?”

Zach: “Hey Brigs, can I leave early for lunch today? I was being really quiet the whole period.”
Jarad: “That’s ‘cause you were sleeping, you moron.”

One freshman’s definition of labyrinth: “An inflammation of the inner ear.”

Me: “Now, why might Edgar Allan Poe have found the death of a beautiful woman so tragic?”
Billy: “Because didn’t all of his girlfriends die of the same disease? They all had laryngitis or something.”

Ryan (a sophomore), giving a presentation: “So here the soldiers are joining together because they have morale.”
A spectator: “What’s morale?”
Ryan: “It’s um… okay… It’s when a bunch of people get together and say, ‘We’re not happy.’”

“C is for cats. I have two cats. One is named Tigger and one is named Roxy. They are both male cats, and they are gay together.”
-Abbie (a freshman) in her autobiographical alphabet assignment.

“He has a low self of steam.”
-One student’s answer to a character-based question.

Dan (a senior): “Man, you’re as gay as a two-dollar bill.”

Ryan: “My hands are so cold… I should be a doctor.”

And my personal favorite:

Carli (a sophomore): “If I write for more than 15 minutes straight, my hand starts to hurt. It’d be nice if I could just switch and write with my left hand, but I’m not bilingual.”

1 comment:

nikki said...

Hey Brigs-
Do you have some of my students in your classes?
-Your Cuz, Nikki